I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
