how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Randomize
