Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
