I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
