Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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