i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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