So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize