so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
