i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So squirting runs in the family.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
