Got a toothbrush?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I smell like Dick and happiness
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
