He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
