my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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