either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize