I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
