So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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