I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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