I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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