if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
