you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
