The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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