Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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