im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
