If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
