quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
