Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
