god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
