Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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