is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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