Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
what day is it and did you see me today?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
