Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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