Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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