i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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