I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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