My nipple is on Facebook.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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