5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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