ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
