hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
