It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
