I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize