We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
