wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
