Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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