If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
