I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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