Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
