So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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