just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
