Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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