My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
