He kissed a someone with a penis
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
