If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
