My boss' voice literally gives me gas
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
