Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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