u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize