Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
