I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
