the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
