dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
