i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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