i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
